Elephant’s Leg


AMAZING THAILAND – THE SLOGAN AND THE REALITY
Nick and I on an "amazing" Koh Chang elephant

Nick and I on an “amazing” Koh Chang elephant

“Amazing Thailand” is the long-running official slogan of the international tourism drive, as well as the ironic quote of choice for the cynical expat when hearing of some latest outrage.

The latest poltical protest? “Amazing Thailand”. Video footage of a bungling and/or corrupt cop? “Amazing Thailand”. Idiotic driving? “Amazing Thailand”. And so on.

Expats are often pretty miserable types. Naturally, when you live somewhere, you see a lot more of the contry’s foibles and annoyances than the average two-week tourist. But that doesn’t mean the tourist experience is invalid or inaccurate. To the temporary visitor, many things about this country really are amazing. Those of us who live here shouldn’t forget that.

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LEAVING THE ELEPHANT: AN ODE TO A HOME

People were incredulous when I told them I lived in an elephant’s leg, but I was neither lying nor quoting from a Dr Seuss book. No, for more than seven years I lived in a building called the Elephant Tower, so named because of its unmistakeable shape. See for yourself:

The Elephant Tower at Ratchayothin

The Elephant Tower at Ratchayothin

I lived in the back legs of that building, about halfway up. Thus, I named my blog Elephant’s Leg because that had been my perspective point for most of the time I have lived in Thailand. Seven years and three months, in fact. My childhood home aside, it was the longest consecutive time I had stayed in one place.

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2014: MY YEAR IN REVIEW

The past 12 months have been some of the most fulfilling of my life. I made great strides both personally and professionally, and while death did intervene on a couple of occasions, and threaten on another, 2014 was by far a positive year overall.

The most interesting point, as far as I’m concerned, was my long-awaited return to competitive boxing. Also long-awaited was a promotion I secured in work. My relationship with Fai continued to progress and deepen, and I travelled overseas three times. On a sadder note, I lost two friends, and nearly lost a dear family member.

BOXING

(Mis-spelled) poster for my second 2014 fight

(Mis-spelled) poster for my second 2014 fight

In June, I finally returned to competitive boxing – a mere 17 years after my last match! To put that into perspective, it was a hiatus seven years longer than that which preceded George Foreman‘s famous comeback.

I had been training consistently for a couple of years but for various reasons had not secured a match. But last year, western amateur boxing really took off in Bangkok. Previously, foreign boxers in Thailand had two options – fight in muay Thai, or turn pro and get fed to the lions. Neither option appealed to me, and there has been no obvious amateur programme open to foreigners, so when The Lab organised its inaugural boxing show in June and offered me a spot on the card, I jumped at the chance.

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ANOTHER YEAR IN PARADISE

Sorry to use a cliché, but the past 12 months have continued to be spent in tropical Thailand, and while Bangkok lacks the beaches and tranquility that most would associate with an earthly Eden, it has, for the most part, been a year that was good to me.

What a shame that the country’s political scene is once again threatening to spoil 2014 almost as soon as it starts, but for now my focus is on what did happen, rather than what might, as I sum up 2013.

FAMILY

Grandma taking a break from one of our treks

Grandma taking a break from one of our treks

Thankfully, all my loved ones remained fit and well last year, including my three 80-something grandparents. Most importantly, my Scottish Grandma, who has always been full of vigour, has remained so since the death of Grandpa in 2012. If anything, she has thrived, having now been freed from the duties of caring for him virtually full time in the decade or so before he passed away. She has travelled, met her great-grandchildren and been busier than ever in her community. On top of this, when I visited her in June, we enjoyed some brisk walks amid the glorious Highland scenery and she set a pace that would put many people half her age to shame. Long may this continue!

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THE VALUE OF VAGINAS
An acceptable way to wear fur

An acceptable way to wear fur

The amazing response to my last post was quite an eye-opener. Initially, my blog was just a way to share my general musings with friends and family back home after I moved to Thailand. I wasn’t bothered about page views, although I’d had some good critical feedback on some past pieces. Even so, the most views my site had had in a day previously was a little over 200. But my “10 ways expats can avoid being mistaken for tourists” post has now picked up more than 3,300 views!

Since I’d only posted it on my own Facebook page and sent an email to a few people I already knew, I was very pleasantly surprised by this. It was my own experience of something going “viral”, and while 3,300+ views is a pretty modest stat in modern internet terms, it was achieved through the branch of “shares” on Facebook, Twitter and the link being posted on various forums. While technology has changed a lot in recent years, the adage remains that the best kind of advertising is a recommendation, so for my work to be publicised by people I don’t know whatsoever is a nice seal of approval.

As I hadn’t had particularly big numbers before, I hadn’t looked much at the referrers, search engine terms, and so on, but when I got the huge spike in views, I had a look at the WordPress stats page to see how people were finding their way to the site. I had a few surprises and laughs at some of the search engine terms that had directed people here, but one word in particular stood out because it cropped up over and over again.

Vagina. Continue reading



10 WAYS EXPATS CAN AVOID BEING MISTAKEN FOR TOURISTS
Nice tan!

Nice tan!

Everybody needs somebody… to look down on, and few lifeforms get less respect than the lowly tourist. In Bangkok, they are easy to spot – bright pink skin, dripping in sweat, wearing a Chang Beer T-shirt and scratching their heads over folding maps and the BTS ticketing system. Tourists are naïve, vulnerable, confused and trusting – everything that the noble expat is not! But to the average Thai conman and opportunist, every foreigner is a potential tourist, and to every tourist, anyone of their same colour is likely one of their kin. But the resident farang is a wiser, nobler and all-round higher class of foreigner, and we must flaunt our status with our behaviour and habits. However, this is something that can only be cultivated over time, with experience – unless you consult my handy guide to…

10 WAYS EXPATS CAN AVOID BEING MISTAKEN FOR TOURISTS

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BANG SARAY: 30 MINUTES AND A WORLD AWAY FROM PATTAYA

 

Pattaya’s skyscrapers loom in the background, but it’s easy to forget the city while lounging in Bang Saray’s clear waters

Talk to any old-timer expat here in Thailand and chances are that, before long, they’ll regale you with tales of when places such as Pattaya and Phuket were quiet fishing villages, and then lament that if only they’d bought land or property back then, they’d be stinking rich now.

Which raises the question of where tomorrow’s Pattaya or Phuket might be, or whether there even remains such potential in a country which is vastly more ensconsced on the tourist map than it was in the 1970s or 80s. Surely anywhere of commercial opportunity will already be long-discovered?

Maybe not. Continue reading



A WEEK IN MALAYSIA PART 1: PENANG
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Batu Ferringhi

I spent last week in Malaysia with my girlfriend, Waew. It was our first proper holiday together and my first proper trip to Malaysia (I did a brief border hop from Brunei in 2005 but that was essentially just to tick another country off the list). It was also my first proper holiday in South East Asia since moving to Thailand last year, having so far failed to live up to my promise to myself to see as much of the region as possible while living here.

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SOUTH PACIFIC TSUNAMI: WHY SAMOA AND TONGA NEED YOU
Ofu beach, American Samoa

Ofu beach, American Samoa

Again, a part of the world that is dear to me has been devastated by a tsunami.

Last time was the 2004 Boxing Day disaster which wreaked havoc on several Indian Ocean countries, most famously Thailand. This time the Samoan islands have borne the brunt of killer waves resonating from a huge earthquake in Indonesia – also the epicentre of the 2004 catastrophe.

Phuket was worst-hit in 2004, while Krabi also suffered extensive damage, and scenes of the damage there were poignant for me at the time, as I had only two months earlier enjoyed my first trip to Thailand, spending half of it in Krabi, a dramatically beautiful province which remains my favourite place in the kingdom.

Last week the Samoan islands – both independent Samoa and the US territory of American Samoa – were hit by a tsunami of a similar ferocity, with reports of waves of anything between three and seven metres high washing up to a mile inland, devastating the southern coastlines and in some cases destroying entire villages. Tonga, too, was hit.

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THE ELEPHANT’S LEG MAKES ITS FIRST STEPS BACK
September 17, 2009, 4:40 am
Filed under: Miscellaneous | Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Back to the grind

Back to the grind

Welcome back – or welcome for the first time – to The Elephant’s Leg. Whether you are making an occasional check to see if it has been resurrected, whether you have been directed back here by myself, or whether you found this blog through some other means.

As this is the first post in about a year, here’s a quick recap:

WHAT IS THE ELEPHANT’S LEG?

This is a blog by a British expat living in Bangkok. So far, so unremarkable. But I’m not trying to pretend it’s anything more than that. I’m not a political analyst. I’m not a comedian or a satirist. I’m not an industry insider, or a mover and shaker. I’m not promoting anything. This is simply an outlet for my experiences and thoughts during a fascinating chapter in my life. The primary target is the family and friends who already know me, although of course anybody is welcome here. The primary reason is to keep them up to date with my life in the Land of Smiles, and secondly to keep a record of events and impressions that I myself may review in the future. Beyond that remit, if anybody else is entertained, then that’s a happy bonus.

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